Bill Simmons' best column ever...

[Adam G]

I don't know how many of you read Bill Simmons on ESPN.com, but I couldn't stop laughing from his column about the NBA All-Star Weekend. It's a bit long, but worth every minute...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/st ... ons/070220

[More Cowbell]

i think my favorite quote was: "You can't blame the groggy players for shattering the record of "Most Botched Alley-Oop Passes in a Single Exhibition Game." They were still battling a severe retroactive contact high. Hell, I'm battling it right now. The original text of the previous sentence looked like this: "Wrhrhrh jdkdlehj fgfjslelfhfhf sgfhgfkdldhjsd fjg agshshsk ahdjdkdksh Contact High."

...that or: "Thumbs up to the fact that NBA All-Star weekend happened in Las Vegas during the same weekend as Chinese New Year. Just remember this when 7-foot-3 Sino-American/African-American star Xin-Ling Stoudemire or Chow-Zang Arenas is drafted first in the 2028 NBA Draft."

Bill is a great man.

[Timbalaned]

so far i really like this one...

"On the bright side, now that every female in Vegas dresses like a hooker, it's impossible to tell the real hookers from the fake ones, which means we'll probably have a Vegas-themed game show called "Hooker or Looker" some day."

[StrykerFSU]

Instant classic.

Long time readers should have really gotten a kick out of his exchange with David Stern about rigging the Lottery. Who else would have the cajones to joke with a sitting sports commissioner about rigging the draft? For those of you who don't know, there was talk that Stern had the Knicks envelope frozen so that he could distinguish it in the lottery for Patrick Ewing. The Knicks are Stern's favorite team and this was in the days before they had the ping pong balls.

[Sonny]

That was a funny article!

Thanks for sharing.

[jessexy]

I stopped reading Bill Simmons when i realized that he couldnt write a complete article without making a reference to any New England sports team or player......He does it in absolutely every article

[sohotrightnow]

I am no Bill Simmons fan, but I enjoyed the article for the most part. On the other hand, I think he tries too hard at times. I mean, he is in his 30s, is married, and is kind of a geek...how crazy can you act in Vegas when you have those 3 things weighing you down?

[jessexy]

was anyone on these boards in Vegas at the time the All-Star game was going on??? was it really that bad?

I'm guessing that it was no different than when they were in Houston (which i went to), LA, Philly, etc....but there is more scrutiny since its Vegas.

[bste_lax]

was anyone on these boards in Vegas at the time the All-Star game was going on??? was it really that bad?

Here is what a friend of mine told me regarding his friend who was in town for it:

EFFING CRAZY!! He said he spent Sunday night playing Keno on the TV in his room at the MGM 'cause it was such a nightmare. Whitlock (and ESPN's Bill Simmons) were right about how crazy it was. We've been there for NYE which is pretty crazy, and we've been to Carnival, but he said this was more like Baghdad then anything he has ever seen. He said there were times he was literally afraid for his life even in the hotel. The MGM put security guards in every elevator and had one on every floor as well. Real guards, w/ guns and the whole ball of wax. And he said they looked nervous.

[Sonny]

I mean, he is in his 30s, is married, and is kind of a geek...how crazy can you act in Vegas when you have those 3 things weighing you down?

Never stopped me.

[Danny Hogan]

I stopped reading Bill Simmons when i realized that he couldnt write a complete article without making a reference to any New England sports team or player......He does it in absolutely every article

he was the 'boston sports guy' before he was the 'sports guy'