Parental Involvement

by **Zeuslax** on Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:56 pm

The Dom Starsia article got me thinking about this topic even more, as I prepare my yearly letter to the team's parents. I've been on both sides of this coin for sure. Last season we had amazing parental support. Which developed into a great network of dedicated parents. They supplied financial contributions, food, team awards/gifts, drinks, support, ect......6 families never missed a game (on the road or at home, emmense travel was always involved). However, almost the entire team was from Michigan. This season I have only 2 kids from PA, and one lives 5 hours from here. It won't be the same for sure.

However, mentioning the flip side earlier, I have been approached about playing time, and other smaller topics. One conversation in particular was a real nightmare. I'm sure some of the very established programs have encountered some interesting parents/stories. Any good ones? In a varsity environment parents are a very touchy subject sometimes. I wonder if its the same for club lacrosse. Does anyone have any set guidelines that the parents are notified of?

**Sponsor**

by **Danny Hogan** on Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:03 pm

from my experience hs varsity lacrosse parents are 1000000000% worse than MDIA parents.

by **lil lady lax fan** on Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:22 pm

Danny Hogan wrote:from my experience hs varsity lacrosse parents are 1000000000% worse than MDIA parents.

Worse in what way? The vibe I was getting from the parents at the shootout was one of uncertainty. They didn't want to step on their kid's feet now that they were out of the house. Then again, they didn't strike me as the extreme-parent types.

by **DanGenck** on Fri Feb 24, 2006 5:47 pm

I like that Coach Starsia mentions that parents do not see practices or work out sessions every day. Maybe coaches should force parents to attend at least 2-3 practices before talking to the coach about playing time? That might not be a bad policy to have...

by **WaterBoy** on Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:00 pm

I like that Coach Starsia mentions that parents do not see practices or work out sessions every day. Maybe coaches should force parents to attend at least 2-3 practices before talking to the coach about playing time? That might not be a bad policy to have...

But do you really want to run the risk of them taking you up on that offer?

I can just picture parents supervising a weightlifting session.

by **KevinSchoneck** on Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:21 pm

Parents in the weight room would be a bad idea.

I also agree that HS varsity parents are fairly pushy. But in the response to parental involvement as a whole, I've found that its usually just a handful of parents out of 30-40 players that generally get uppity or constantly ask about there child's playtime and the like.

Most parents I've encountered in Florida are very supportive and the ones that do stop by my practices usually find a quiet place to observe.

It's a sticky situation though.

by **UofMLaxGoalie11** on Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:53 pm

DanGenck wrote:I like that Coach Starsia mentions that parents do not see practices or work out sessions every day. Maybe coaches should force parents to attend at least 2-3 practices before talking to the coach about playing time? That might not be a bad policy to have...

why does this remind me of a south park episode where the parents were with their kids at the bus stop and they said to just act like they werent there. name calling and religious slurs were thrown around. the parents werent too happy.

last year we had one players parents wherever we went. It was great. We had a barbeque after about 90% of our games. They even came down to florida during our spring break trip. It was really great having at least 2 fans at every game.

by **LAXDawg14** on Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:19 am

we have a lot of parental support....
with athens being so close to atlanta its a short drive for most parents
they also helped us with getting new goals and uniforms this season

but also our out of state parents still manage to make it to games.
last year at the SELC's we wanted everyone to stay in atlanta the whole weekend and not commute from athens.... so the parents in the atl area took in the out of staters [myself included] and made us feel like one of their own. one parent even said if there wasnt enough beds they would get us hotel rooms..... thats some good support i think

by **Rob Graff** on Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:08 am

We've really focused on having the players run the team. And that let's parents be fans -which is what they should be. I've not had any issue at any time with parents at college.

But....

I'm about to embark on being my son's 2-3-4th grade lax coach. I attended an 'open house' with the kids on Saturday. Most of the kids/parents I met were great. Then there was the one that was introduce to me, told me his kid (a 3rd grader this year) was "Great" and that if the kid decided to play with my team, I would be lucky because he was "the best".

My external response (for those that have seen Madagascar this is meaningful) "Smile and Nod, just Smile and Nod."

My internal response: not able to be written in a family-friendly way.

How come I think I'll have more headaches with the 2/3/4 grade rather than the college players?

by **DanGenck** on Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:24 am

Rob Graff wrote:We've really focused on having the players run the team. And that let's parents be fans -which is what they should be. I've not had any issue at any time with parents at college.

But....

I'm about to embark on being my son's 2-3-4th grade lax coach. I attended an 'open house' with the kids on Saturday. Most of the kids/parents I met were great. Then there was the one that was introduce to me, told me his kid (a 3rd grader this year) was "Great" and that if the kid decided to play with my team, I would be lucky because he was "the best".

My external response (for those that have seen Madagascar this is meaningful) "Smile and Nod, just Smile and Nod."

My internal response: not able to be written in a family-friendly way.

How come I think I'll have more headaches with the 2/3/4 grade rather than the college players?

Are you saying my son's not great? I told you at the meeting... he's "the best"...

by **chefy** on Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:30 am

DanGenck wrote:
Rob Graff wrote:We've really focused on having the players run the team. And that let's parents be fans -which is what they should be. I've not had any issue at any time with parents at college.

But....

I'm about to embark on being my son's 2-3-4th grade lax coach. I attended an 'open house' with the kids on Saturday. Most of the kids/parents I met were great. Then there was the one that was introduce to me, told me his kid (a 3rd grader this year) was "Great" and that if the kid decided to play with my team, I would be lucky because he was "the best".

My external response (for those that have seen Madagascar this is meaningful) "Smile and Nod, just Smile and Nod."

My internal response: not able to be written in a family-friendly way.

How come I think I'll have more headaches with the 2/3/4 grade rather than the college players?

Are you saying my son's not great? I told you at the meeting... he's "the best"...

LOL... that's great stuff

by DG on Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:57 pm

Rob Graff wrote:We've really focused on having the players run the team. And that let's parents be fans -which is what they should be. I've not had any issue at any time with parents at college.

But....

I'm about to embark on being my son's 2-3-4th grade lax coach. I attended an 'open house' with the kids on Saturday. Most of the kids/parents I met were great. Then there was the one that was introduce to me, told me his kid (a 3rd grader this year) was "Great" and that if the kid decided to play with my team, I would be lucky because he was "the best".

My external response (for those that have seen Madagascar this is meaningful) "Smile and Nod, just Smile and Nod."

My internal response: not able to be written in a family-friendly way.

How come I think I'll have more headaches with the 2/3/4 grade rather than the college players?

Rob,

As you know, I'm in the same boat. We have LOTS of kids (24) on the team, so I thought PT might be an issue. Our first game went well, and so far we haven't had any of the issues that you are discussing here. Good to hear that you have "the best" player. I'm sure that will help you win a lot more games. :lol:

I wonder what Dad will say when you tell him that your team goals don't involve a huge focus on winning and losing...

DG

by **byualum** on Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:05 pm

Rob Graff wrote:I'm about to embark on being my son's 2-3-4th grade lax coach. I attended an 'open house' with the kids on Saturday. Most of the kids/parents I met were great. Then there was the one that was introduce to me, told me his kid (a 3rd grader this year) was "Great" and that if the kid decided to play with my team, I would be lucky because he was "the best".

Why are you wasting this kids obvious talent on a youth lacrosse team?? Surely you have room on the UMD roster for a talent such as this!! :roll:

by **Rob Graff** on Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:34 pm

I'll get that recruiting packet out NOW!

by **grinderpete** on Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:52 pm

Rob Graff wrote:I'll get that recruiting packet out NOW!

Maybe he will play just one year and then can move onto the pros. I mean, the Swarm are always looking for hometown talent.