It isn’t strange anymore, being the gay one amongst my friends, in my fraternity, on my team. It all happens in one moment, when you realize that the people who care about you will always care about you, and what is most important is to care about yourself. I told myself that I would have to be strong. I thought that people might talk about me behind my back as I walked down the street, and I worried that, on my first road trip this year with the lacrosse team, the unlucky guys who had to be my roommates would complain about sleeping in the same room as the homo. I thought that the first time I walked into the showers after a long practice, the other guys would all walk out or at least ask me to leave.
It didn’t happen like I had planned. I never had to be strong after that first moment. My friends, brothers, and teammates don’t treat my any differently because I am not any different now. I am still the loud one with my friends, the jock in my frat, and the goalie on my team. The only thing that has changed? Now girls are not afraid to approach me in a social setting and put their arm around me or even worse, grab me in an inappropriate place. I waited for people to stare at me or ask me questions or say names but it turns out I was worried about nothing all that time.
In the summer of 2003, directly following a breakout year by both our team (the most wins in school history, a share of the Ivy League championship, and Dartmouth’s first NCAA tournament appearance) and myself (All-New England, All-Ivy League, All-America), I decided to come clean with everyone. I knew that I wasn’t the first gay athlete at Dartmouth, and it turns out I wouldn’t even be the only openly gay athlete in the sophomore class, but I did know that I had no openly gay team sport athletes to look up to. I am still not sure if I am the first guy on a team sport to come out at Dartmouth, but I am thankful that I had teammates when it came time to open up. They reassured me that I was their goalie either way. I got two responses from the guys on my team: first, the guarantee that they would always have my back no matter what, and second, an apology for anything they may have done to make me feel uncomfortable. At one of the most historically conservative schools in the country, my teammates were there when I doubted how I might be received.
LINK TO FULL ARTICLE:
http://www.neverstopthinking.org/articles_goldstein.php
