Tech Support meets Life problems

[yourmom]

Dear Tech Support :

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. Soon I noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting 6.3, Fishing
7.5, and Racing 3.6. Don't work properly. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please
help!

Thanks,
Troubled User..
______________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade
from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by
its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0
and to return to Girlfriend 70. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge
the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in
your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony-Child Support". I recommend
that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest
installing the background application "Yes Dear"5.0 to alleviate software
augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the
only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase e additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.


BEST OF LUCK,
TECH SUPPORT