Useful Military Warnings

[Sonny]

I thought some of these were pretty funny......

"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- Col. David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."
- Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
-- U.S.Army EOD

[Brent Burns]

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
-- U.S.Army EOD

I like this one the best and sure made me laugh.

[benji]

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
-- U.S.Army EOD

I like this one the best and sure made me laugh.

Didn't they use this quote in the Sum of All Fears?

[Brent Burns]

Didn't they use this quote in the Sum of All Fears?

I never saw this movie, but I did check out the IMDb site and found a section called "Memorable Quotes" from that movie. Benji is correct about that.

[OAKS]

I've seen some bomb squads shirts that have 'if you see me running, try to keep up' written on the back

[echo 600]

Those are right up there with the "Murphy's Law of Cops," which has been floating around for a while:

Bullet proof vests, aren't.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They also punch, kick and choke harder too.

The speed at which you respond to a call is inversely proportional to how long you've been a cop.

Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face.

High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.

If you know someone who tortures animals and wets the bed, he is either a serial killer or he works for Internal Affairs.

Placing a gun back in a holster with your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp.

If you have cleared all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house.

If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops more often than he will hit the bad guy he swings at.

Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen).

If you have just punched out a handcuffed prisoner for spitting at you, you are about to become a star on Eyewitness News.

Bullets work on veteran cops too. They also work on weight lifters, martial arts experts, department marksmen, Vice cops, S.W.A.T. jocks, and others who consider themselves immortal.

When a civilian sees a blue light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop needs to use.

If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes a civilian will pull along side of you and ask for directions.

You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don't need a cop, and you can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do.

Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol.

From behind you, the bad guys can see your night sights
as well as you can.

On any call, there will always be more bad guys than there are good guys, and the farther away your back-up, the more there will be.

The longer you've been a cop, the shorter your flashlight and your temper.

Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance it will get you killed, you probably shouldn't do it.

You should never do a shotgun search of a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boomer".

The better you do your job, the more likely you are about to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day-off.

If a large group of drunk bikers are "holed-up" in a house, the Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is one biker "holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire S.W.A.T. Team.

And no matter how many times a gun has been cleared and declared empty, there is always one more round.

[devildog0351]

Thought I would throw some I hear all the time in the Marine Corps...

First of all I have got to put this quote in for kicks...

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps! "

Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945

Anyways here are some useful expressions Ive heard...

"When in doubt, empty your magazine...:"

"Never forget your weapon is made by the lowest bidder..."

"if it is stupid, but works; it isn't stupid"

"If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat"

"Incoming fire has the right of way..."

"Friendly fire isn't friendly..."

"Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs..."

"Try to look un-important because the enemy might be low on ammo..."

"Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately!"

"All five second grenade fuses will burn out in three seconds!"

This one is typical of our military...
"Beer math is: 2 beers times 37 men = 50 cases!!!!"

I will end on one of the best quotes ever made by the most decorated Marine ever, Chesty Puller.

"Were surrounded, that simplifies the problem..."

Semper Fi!
Lcpl Cross
USMC

[StrykerFSU]

From my helicopter flying buddy,

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."